Haibun 186

simulating reality

schrodingers cat. not dead. not alive. at least until we make it so. whatever ‘it’ is. i wonder what netflix original show my life is being played out in. i hope it is exciting. i want it to be a hit. but than. you have to wonder is my role a ‘bit player’ or am i a star. until you look in the ‘box’ who knows. my plastic face tries on a new identity. perfect fit.

late night…
binge watching
the sleeping cat

Haibun 185

slow dancing in a burning room

sometimes you just want to keep going. stopping is not an option. when time runs out you just chase the phantom down the street. and you catch it and hold it tight…

guitar solo…
a strobe light
in a smoky room

Haibun 184

ten dollar cover

no one knows how i feel. not exactly. sometimes not at all. you can talk and smile right over your pain. you can. the way sandalwood burns filling the room with the fine scent of a well lived life. half closed eyes see it all.

at the abandoned
asylum for the insane
i let myself in

Haibun 183

leaving a shadow is all

so attached to this body. but at the end of the day or the end of time we just leave the faintest trace of ourselves. todays best ideas were hatched a century ago by a farmer smoking a pipe in the field after a long day. like a stone in our shoe they just reappear down the road of time and we pick it up and the lesson begins again. knowing that nothing is. is a comfortable feeling for me.

confessions dance
on two left feet

Haibun 182

dragon clouds

nothing scares me. speaking to a hostile audience. that barking dog showing me their teeth. the black bear standing on hind legs and looking my way. i remember when my parents took the family to yellowstone when we were kids. there were five or six grizzlies in a parking lot along the road. my dad drove his brand new 1953 bel air chevy right up to one of the grizzlies. we did not have air conditioning and the windows in the car were open. all three of us kids were in the back seat eating oreo cookies and laughing at the bears. then one big grizzly put his paws on the open window on the passenger side where my mom was sitting. yeah she screamed. we were all terrified and then quickly without a thought my dad grabbed the whole package of oreos from us and tossed it over the bears head. the car bounces wildly when that bear suddenly went for the cookies. all the windows went up and my dad got us out of there in a hurry. i learned something about bears that day. never been scared of them again. hell we had something in common. we both love oreo cookies.

shaping shadows
to suit our fears
mountain sunset

Haibun 181

the echo is still you

when in a group i talk. when by myself i listen. sounds paradoxical i know. the hardest part of living is being on good terms with yourself. that takes conversation. i try to keep it light and easy you know. but chaos theory seems to demand that we label things. we think that we will know what the whole is if we can name all the parts. not true. i leave the labels to others and am sure to ignore any given to me. a clean empty shelf holds a small vase with a single flower. if forced to give it a label i would call it a ‘full shelf’.

i shape it
into a bunny

Haibun 180

blow ye old blue northern

there is a time to let the past know you are still here in the present. kick the shit off your shoes and walk forward into whatever comes your way. take a deep breath and die in the present moment. then spend eternity right there.

peace and the sound
a falling branch

Haibun 178

obliged to sit in

the storm ended. and a wonderful sunset finished the day for me. as the last clouds blew away i saw a universe or two or three appear. i felt that my plastic adirondack chair had become the throne of the pharaohs. and happy/sad filed my soul. everyone i had known living and dead filed into my limitless castle. it was a jam session for my soul. ‘just one thing i ask of you when they bring the wagon round please forget you knew my name’.

while i label the stars…
a blues tune
carries me away

Haibun 177

so many roads ease my soul

i am going to carry my dreams to the other side of town. the weight of it all gets lighter as i travel. parts of the dreams disappear you know. it lightens the load. off i go anyway. one foot before the other in total synchronicity. the vagabond life of an old hippie wearing out his dreams. most people abandon theirs. i just live them every single day. i had a roshi once who asked a group of us if we had ever seen a rock smile. we all mumbled negatively of course. then once we had driven off the cliff together he explained that every rock smiles but it takes 100000 years to fully form and another 100000 to melt away. you see I live in a land of huge smiles and used up dreams. there is a wonderful peace i possess when i focus my thoughts.

a winter moon
speeds up and disappears
blowing clouds