Haibun 191

did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts

i dunno for sure but sometimes my memories are more real than the moment they were made. strange i know. but i just want to say to anyone reading this that i have my eye on you.

crescent moon~
the winter desert blossoms

Haibun 190

finding comfort in paradox

never understood god or the devil because you cant have one without the other can you. the wonder of humanity is that we have lasted this long what with our strong tendency to pick sides. the oppression of being part of something never occurred to me. i always wanted to be who i was and let the world kiss my ass if they did not like it. it seemed to some people that i just did not care. not true. but i get it. two sides. three sides. too many sides to count. dropping out seemed the only math that worked for me. IS 5 was my inspiration. two and two never should have been defined as a single answer and me neither. i was talking to a nice psychologist that i met the other day. i should write a book they said. and i thought at that moment that i really want to look up at the stars tonight. i sent a note to myself to remind me to do it. i am the punchline in the great cosmic joke….. and this nice person had no idea why i was laughing at the idea of a book. so that book will never be written.

grains of my mandala
become one 
poems in the wind

Haibun 189

aint it high time we went

days slide past. i feel like one of those old view master 3d toys of my childhood. you slipped in a circular set of slides. looked into two eyepieces and clicked to move from one place to another. saw the grand canyon for the first time on one of those things. it was so much better years later in person though. once you have seen the real thing your imagination is a poor substitute. so i went to as many places as i could in my life. now i just slip into consciousness with half closed eyes while listening to the songs of the sixties. right at the edge of that canyon in just a split second i go. “you cant always get what you want but if you try real hard you can get what you need.”

recalled to life…
a corpse on the sofa
s t i r s

Haibun 188

playing in every key at once

i center myself on not making myself dizzy. it then becomes clear. the straight life i left for the woods of northern michigan never fit me that good anyway. i sit. hiding behind old oaks and wondering why some people cant ever just be. whenever i spot a bit of fuzzy dust under a table i just let it lay there. its future up to it entirely.

windchimes
a breeze
through my mind

Haibun 187

pass me a rainbow

some of my generation are ex-hippies. me i just stayed one. even through many straight configurations that most people cannot imagine. even my years in banking they all knew there was something wrong with me. but i seriously think that is why they kept me and promoted me. they wanted someone to tear it all down in front of them but in fun way. i still want a ken kesey psychedelic bus. maybe for my next birthday. who knows.

janis joplins
paisley porsche
still parked in my mind

Haibun 186

simulating reality

schrodingers cat. not dead. not alive. at least until we make it so. whatever ‘it’ is. i wonder what netflix original show my life is being played out in. i hope it is exciting. i want it to be a hit. but than. you have to wonder is my role a ‘bit player’ or am i a star. until you look in the ‘box’ who knows. my plastic face tries on a new identity. perfect fit.

late night…
binge watching
the sleeping cat