Haibun 12

reserving a room in hell

Over time, you experience these losses. But you never see them coming. They seem unnatural, but then suicide always has that going for it. No one seems to know the cause, it masquerades as a general dissatisfaction with their life. Thinking back you saw something, but still can’t put your finger on a fact, or find a reason. Religion is a barrier and no relief. “His soul will go to hell you know?” No, I don’t know that, and right now I would rather be with him than you.

impermanence . . .
a winter storm
passes between us

First Published in:  HaibunToday!

Haibun 11

It does not take much to remember . . .

Vietnam. Someone says that word, places that place into my mind and it speeds through all the black and white movie reels again. As if it matters, my cat jumps into my lap and wants to be petted. I do it, mechanically moving my fingers between her ears, and think to myself about gain and loss. It is a perfect moment, really.

shooting the moon
my finger
always dead center

First Published in:  HaibunToday!

Haibun 10

A Failure of Language

It has been years, yes years, since my brother and I spoke in any meaningful way. It was his decision, and not based on any action or inaction of mine, at least that I am aware of. Now, I will never really know. Having just finished a phone call with him, the last I will ever have, all I can do is wonder at the why?

long winter
birds peck at dry grass
in fresh snow

After a sharp weight loss, celiac disease was the diagnosis, and a gluten-free diet the prescription. Twenty pounds more in weight loss and an MRI revealed the mass in the small intestines of my brother. The surgery the next day removed the mass that had already involved the intestines. ‘Lymphoma’ is an undramatic word with dramatic implications. His life would be over in less than six months.

the vernal equinox
lost in a ‘polar vortex’

First published in:  HaibunToday!